Really Me ?

The door slams shut
darkness invades the heart
hate boils within

It all starts again
seeds begin to grow
through the orbs of black

blood runs cold
heart of stone
the old me again

tired of being what I am not
the smiles the gentleness
all for naught

being hate and one with it
my way, the only way
just a feeling an emotion

time will tell, can love heal
all I want is to know when
if at all, or is this really me

the hateful seething anger
it fills my heart and thoughts
I don't want this, but cannot escape